Victim of a drive-by hooting

Last night I was the victim of a drive-by hooting.

No, that’s not a typo, I was actually hooted at by a passing motorist.

It was about ten p.m. when I decided I needed some exercise and left the house to do some power walking. I had gone maybe half a mile down the main road when a car traveling in the same direction as me slowed as it came level. As I turned my head to look I saw a male youth at the open window produce a bright red horn and let rip with a blast of air. This made me jump which was, presumably, the effect he was after and which, also presumably, he found so utterly hilarious he was prepared to give up his evenings doing instead of making teenage girls pregnant or inhaling intoxicating fumes. As he speeded up and disappeared down the road I remembered the start of my walk and how I heard in the distance the sound of a horn but thought nothing of it, and as if to confirm my memory, shortly after the car turned a corner I heard the horn again in the distance as the driver must have blasted another innocent pedestrian with 120 decibels. I was tempted to run after him in the forlorn hope of catching his car or at least getting his number plate, such was my fury at his stupidity.

Then as I continued my walk I started to count my blessings. This was the UK, we don’t as yet have guns in the hands of every gang member (although in certain parts of the country this is changing). Had it been the USA, I probably would have been face down on the pavement either thinking about upgrading my weaponry to a semi automatic or thinking about how would I manage without the use of x (whichever organ/limb was damaged) and composing the first verse of a rap song, my career as a rapper now assured. Come to think of it, had it been the USA I would have been nuts walking the streets alone at night.

Also, had I got the license plate of the car, what would I do with it?

“Is that the police? I’ve just been er…”

What? Hooted at. I don’t actually think there is a law against that. I suppose the nearest they could get would be disturbing the peace.
Then I thought about all the other sorts of drive-by’s that you could have. Most are malicious but what if you had beneficial drive-by’s?

“I was walking the street, minding my own business and this guy just drove by on a scooter and stuffed a twenty pound note in my bag!”

Now that would make the national news.

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