My wife came into the office, presumably to ask me something. She first saw the expression of fury on my face, then looked for a possible cause. Her eyes alighted on the Epson 3000 that I was trying to print on and with that, she hurriedly left.
This Epson printer is feared throughout the household. Or rather it is my attempts to print on it that are feared.
I’ve had this large format printer for six or seven years and in all that time it has never worked properly. It is by far, the worst piece of equipment I have ever bought. The software that came with it must have a glitch because it will suddenly decide to print a sheet with the image moved 25 mm to the right. You can’t allow for this because it might suddenly revert to the correct positioning at the next attempt to print.
The paper feed mechanism is a joke. Every sheet has to be nursed through by hand and even then, more often than not, it simply pulls the paper all the way through without printing. It can do this half a dozen times before it chooses to print. When I first got it I must have been on the telephone for weeks to technical support, all to no avail.
My wife finally shed some light into this darkness. She said, “why don’t you buy another printer?”
Genius. A cost/benefit analysis would reveal the time has come to replace the heap of junk.
But then I started to fantasise about what I would do with the old Epson 3000. So many times it had come within an inch of its life, saved only by the fact that a sledgehammer was not readily to hand.
Then a beauty of an idea flew into my head.
When I have bought the replacement printer I will take the Epson 3000 onto the patio, place it onto a bench, train my camcorder on it and whilst it is recording I will gloriously raise a sledgehammer above my head and bring it down on the devil inspired piece of machinery, smashing it to smithereens.
But this is the killer blow. I will then upload the video onto Youtube and email a link to Epson customer services.
Now think this through. If a product is flawed, then lots of people will have had similar experiences with it. If the aggrieved customers start a trend on Youtube, devising the most ingenious ways of destroying it, what is that going to do to the reputation of a large corporation? And who on earth would buy this product after seeing these videos?
Come on people, let’s not put up with defective products from organisations that should know better. Let’s demonstrate our anger.
Hmm.. or maybe a stack of fireworks stuffed into the printer…